One of the ways the alienator tried desperately to control us was through something as simple as the kids’ teeth.
She’d set the stage perfectly for all of them to have difficulty with their teeth many years before now. As ridiculous as it sounds, when they were very little, the alienator found a dentist who agreed to pull out the kids’ baby teeth.
That’s right. Instead of letting the teeth fall out like normal children, the alienator had a dentist remove them.
And just as you can possibly imagine, this set the stage for the kids to have dental problems.
It also set the stage for the alienator to try and control us. Or so she thought.
The never-ending letters and fight over making us pay for braces.
Mary’s teeth were by far the worst. Her teeth grew sideways, on top of one another and at one point she looked like a shark with rows of teeth that made no sense.
Despite our constant mantra that we have no money due to the unrelenting false accusations, court appearances and lies made by the alienator, she continued to press the issue.
But let’s face it.
It was a game to the alienator.
She didn’t care about Mary getting braces.
She cared about having control.
She cared about trying to make us miserable.
She cared about winning.
Mary was always a driven student and an incredible band performer. The last 5 years she lived with us, her life revolved around band. They practiced countless hours all year long and for that won first place in almost every single competition they entered.
But the alienator was about being the boss.
And teeth were one of the things she felt she could control us with.
This never-ending battle for the braces went on for many, many months. She constantly tried to insinuate the GAL was urging her to schedule Mary’s orthodontist appointment which was a total lie.
These conversations are between Jack and the alienator through Talking Parents.
12/2/2015 from the alienator:
… the childrens lawyer would like me to schedule mary an orthodontic appt to get an estimation for braces. You are also welcome to call and make this appt, and I can meet you there. Wednesday or Thursday work best for me. We like dr sharp in branson. I know she still has two baby teeth that probably will need to come out first. I believe they may be loose. I don’t have dr sharps number he is out of springfield.
The alienator isn’t getting the response she wanted from Jack, so she continues.
1/9/2016 from the alienator:
what day for may and dr. sharp for braces?
1/13/2016 from the alienator:
what day for the orthodontist?
1/15/2016 from the alienator:
The GAL requested that I make apt for orthodontist so that I could get estimation for her to have braces put on. I thought you would like to be involved with apt time. When mary has dentist apt you can also verify that mary will need braces. Do you like Dr, Sharp for the orthodontist ? I will go ahead Monday the 18th of January and call Dr. Sharp’s office schedule apt if you give me your black out days.
1/20/2016 from the alienator:
Marys apt with Dr.Sharp is February 17th at 400 the Branson Office on hwy 248 to evaluate her for braces.
Jack replies to the alienator:
I just called Dr. Sharp’s office. They said the “ballpark” minimum we’d be looking at for braces is $6400. They do not take Medicaid. I do not have $3200 for braces because of recent court costs incurred during the contempt case. As I stated the other day, braces are not a need but a want. Cheryl and I will let you know when we can afford them.
2/17/16 from the alienator:
dr sharp march 2 at 1:45 for consultation for braces.
March 9, 2016 from the alienator’s attorney:
Dear Mr. Mefferd:
Mary’s dental issues are negatively affecting her view of herself and are interfering in her social and educational interactions.
For example, Mary’s irregular and extra teeth make playing her trumpet very uncomfortable. Mary cannot eat fresh fruit without cutting it first, especially apples. One of her left lateral teeth is behind the rest of the row, making her teeth not meet properly. Mary also has a tooth on the top row of teeth that is growing up and to the inside of the roof of her mouth, nearly touching the roof.
Mary is so embarrassed about her looks that she refuses to smile in public. You can imagine that someone who is afraid to smile is learning odd social coping mechanisms.
The alienator respectfully asks Mr. Mefferd to help her pay for Mary’s orthodontic work.
If Mr. Mefferd does not think that this is a necessary procedure, then please ask him to allow Ms. Wilkinson arranging these services on her own.
The Alienator’s 5th Attorney
We asked specifically what “odd coping social mechanisms” were but we never received an answer.
The same day we received this letter, I checked the alienator’s Facebook page. Very seldom did the alienator post anything, especially when it came to the kids. But this day was different. This day she was making a point and giving us the middle finger.
The girl that “refuses to smile in public” is smiling in public for the camera and has her picture posted on her mother’s Facebook page.
During the time the alienator was pressuring us to pay for braces, I’d gotten Mary on a waiting list through a program called “Smiles Change Lives.” This program, if accepted, provided braces at a very discounted rate.
We were on the waiting list for over a year however on July 19, 2016, Mary received her braces through the program!
Ironically, when it came time for the alienator to cough up $315 for her half of the braces and application fee, she was unable to do so.
These are messages from the alienator through Talking Parents after Mary received her braces for $630.
7/23/2016 from the alienator:
I will leave all judgments to the judge regarding money exchange for braces…I am glad mary has her braces on.
7/29/2016 from the alienator:
…And I do have a monthly budget I have to stick with I cant pay asap unless emergency. I will help pay when I figure budget for august
7/30/2016 from the alienator:
I will work it into my budget for their needs.
8/22/2016 from the alienator:
I have done my budget and I just cannot afford braces at this time I will be sure and let you know when I can afford to help pay for braces.
9/28/2016 from the alienator:
I cannot afford to help you with the kids right now
To date, the alienator has never paid us $315 for her half of the braces she was so desperate to get onto Mary’s teeth.
5 thoughts on “Fighting With A Narcissist”
We experienced similar torment in regard to private school. It was heartbreaking to see my step kids turned against their father then and it is so sad that, after 40 years, the alienation continues.
You are missing:
“Son, you need braces so that you do not feel weird when smiling with your friends. Your dad does not want to pay for the braces, so I do not know what to do, for this braces you so desperately want. I am trying to convince your dad to at least help a little, as you really need them, but he does not seem to care about your needs and knows that we may have problem getting food and paying the rent unless he helps us with bathe braces”.
Damn; is this a coincidence, or all allienators go get braces for the children?
All to familiar. In our situation the alienator has the child believing they are allergic to bee stings and needs an epi-pen. The child will not play outside due to his fear of “being stung”. She(alienator) actually has convinced the pediatrician to prescribe an epi-pen both knowing the child has never been stung and no evidence of an allergy. We all know if this child did not have medicaid and the alienator had to pay a copay or any out of pocket costs the child would suddenly no longer need the epi-pen. Most recently in court she(the alienator) tried to make my fiance look bad by saying he has an allergy to bee stings(and she has a doctors note, WHERE IS IT?) by requesting that the father carry and purchase an epi-pen for “his house” even though Medicaid pays for 2 per year. We are in the process of dealing with this issue(and hopefully reprimanding the doctor in some way) with our lawyer. Braces should be upon the horizon within the next couple of years. Hang in there everyone!
When I was married to the alienator, there was no dental hygiene. She and the kids drank juice like it was water. I tried to develop habits of brushing and replacing the sugary drinks with H20, but she kept the girls up all night whereas I had to go to bed at a decent time to work in the morning.
That was “setting the stage,” as you put it…
A few years later, after the divorce and a couple years of alienation hell, I speak with a dentist who called to verify insurance. My immediate questions were “how ARE my girls?!” “Did they seem Ok – like clean clothes, etc?” You see,the alienator has yet to provide an address. I have had no idea where they live or with whom. And, at this point, I hadn’t seen them or heard their voices in several months.
Anyway, that’s beside the point. After verifying the insurance, I was able to get more info about what the immediate need was as well as their history. Turns out they all have major dental issues (Big Surprise?!) and my youngest, 10, needs 3 root canals. The hygienist told me they tried doing 1 and the tool crumbled. Their health is so poor they can’t even do the work. It bothers me so much to think my girls have 1) walked to dentist appointments by themselves and 2) are in pain that it keeps them up at night. The alienator, though, is most upset at the fact that I obtained their dental history and could use it in court to cast doubt on her perfect brave “single-mother” image she wanted everyone to see.
Guys, this parental alienation drama is either a severe mental disorder or an evil spirit controlling the thoughts, intents and actions of its host – or both. It is straight from the pits of hell.
Oh gosh, we went through the braces drama as well with the narcissistic / entire-cluster-B-spectrum-of-an-ex-wife (aka: “the alienating parent”). One of the children needed braces. She had orthodontic insurance that covered the kids (as did we – meaning, they were “double covered” by 2 separate plans) but she insisted on going to a non-contracted orthodontist and paying $8,000 out of pocket (her insurance would have paid $4,000 and mine would have paid $4,000). The dentist isn’t known as even being the best in our area, so there was no logical reason for paying $8,000. She could have found a closer office, better dentist, and:
Free braces could have been possible!
But no, that would make way too much sense and wouldn’t provide the drama that her fragile ego so desperately requires. She’d rather pay the whole $8,000 and then spend weeks and months pressing my husband to pay for the other half, which he thankfully did not do. She finally agreed to foot the entire bill since she contracted the orthodontist on her own without any of his input.
So now she tells anyone who will listen, ad nauseum, how my husband won’t support his children despite the fact that we pay for second medical and dental insurance plans. Seriously?
Now she’s doing the same thing with physical therapy for one of the kids. Refuses to go a PT office that is in-network, so she’s won the opportunity to foot the entire bill herself. Again. #winning