Revised September 17, 2023
Today should be her last first day of school.
Standing in the driveway. Tears rolling down my face.
Today should be the last time I watch her drive away.
Shaking my head in disbelief. Wondering where the time has gone.
Reliving the last 10 years of first days of school in my mind.
We should be making plans.
Senior pictures.
Senior prom.
Graduation.
A thousand more tears should be shed.
Picking out her first day of school dress that she always had to wear.
Watching in pride at what an amazing human she’d become.
Driving to see her last band concerts. Her last competitions.
Her last walk across the stage.
Her last everything.
We should be planning her senior trip, designing invitations, coordinating celebrations.
None of it will be.
Instead, I’m left staring at her lifeless car in the driveway. Her empty room.
I’m left listening to the deafening silence as she never walks through the front door again.
I’m left to remember only what was. What could have been.
I’m left with questions and no answers.
Childhood memories of better times.
Replaying of the last conversations, last hugs and last smiles in my mind.
Only 7.3 miles away.
But it might as well be a million.
Now the only thing that remains is the wonder of how a smart and beautiful girl let someone steal her mind.
And her heart.
And her hopes.
And her dreams.
And the people who loved her more than life itself.
Instead, I’m standing in the driveway with tears rolling down my face. In total disbelief that the alienator stole yet another senior year.
Wishing.
Hoping.
Wondering.
How an amazing young lady could let herself become indoctrinated into hate against the only two people that ever truly loved her.
Picture: May 8, 2018. Mary’s last band concert as a junior. I could not stop crying! Looking back I think my soul knew this was the last concert of hers we would ever attend. I literally can’t believe I’m writing these words to you. My heart is shattered.
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